(Look! An entirely hand-made web site without ads, cookies, malfunctioning drop-down menus, advertising hidden in the code, or stacks of junk links running down the sides of the pages. It's as exotic as a hand-made quilt! Oh boy!)
Test Your Browser & Fonts This web site uses internationally standard UTF-8 encoding on all pages. This link lets you double-check your browser settings and fonts to ensure that you can read these pages.
Alarms, Diversions, & Silly Bits including the Multicultural Computer Demon Exorcism Page (shortcut)
"The opinions or statements expressed herein are my own and should not be taken as a position, opinion, or endorsement of the University of California." (University of California, Office of the President, "Electronic Mail Policy," August 1, 1996)
You are visiting this web site on a device that contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and/or birth defects and other reproductive harm. Wash hands after handling.
No animals were harmed in the making of this web site, which was tested mostly on freshmen.
This web site was produced in a facility in which peanuts are processed.
To avoid danger of suffocation, keep away from babies and children.
This site is proud to be blocked in North Korea, Iran, Syria, and (from time to time) China.
Contents of this site may have settled in shipping.
Your actual mileage may vary.
The site may not inflate even though oxygen is flowing.
Side effects of Internet use may include changes in behavior, hostility, agitation, depressed mood, or suicidal thoughts or actions in sensitive individuals. If you, your family, or your caregiver notice changes in behavior, thinking, or mood that are not typical for you, or if you develop suicidal thoughts, anxiety, panic, aggression, anger, mania, abnormal sensations, hallucinations, paranoia, or confusion, stop using the Internet and call your doctor right away. Also tell your doctor about any history of serious allergic or skin reactions to the Internet, including rash, swelling, redness, peeling of the skin, or swelling of the face, mouth, and throat that can cause trouble breathing. If you have new or worse heart or blood vessel symptoms, unusual joint pains, or difficulty urinating, tell your doctor. Get emergency medical help right away if you have any symptoms of a heart attack or stroke. If you experience extreme sexual excitement lasting more than four hours, turn off your computer and contact your doctor. Use caution driving or operating machinery until you know how any web site may affect you. Other side effects of Internet use may include dry mouth and constipation.
Like all electronic communication, this site under continuous inspection by the National Security Administration of the United States.