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Text first created: 2022-05-26
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Stercus bubulus omnia vincit
—My Daddy

Jargon & Gibberish:
Politpiddle: The Language of Public Posturing (September, 2022)

Candidate Gibber:

The politically motivated herd immunity of law-abiding citizens should be a wake-up call that an abundance of caution couldn’t be further from the truth.

I have the greatest respect for a few bad apples in the strongest possible terms.

I am a firm believer in a laser focus on the razor-thin struggles of everyday dinner-table Americans because communists and dangerous criminals are allowing crime to thrive.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

There is a mainstream media collusion between the far-left and the far-right, so I say that enough is enough! The reality is that the tide of history is focused like a laser on zero tolerance for increased taxes, which is out of touch with everything hard-working Americans have a right to expect.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

My top priority is working day and night for our grandchildren on both sides of the aisle whose hard-earned cash is in disarray because of the science-based failed policies of my opponent. A laser focus on our polarized environment is in our DNA and the tired win-win policies are simply not who we are in any way-shape-or-form. That is a basic human right.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Any radical gun-control agenda would safeguard Our Democracy. That is a red line in the sand. My zero tolerance policy for the breakdown of critical race theory and the Big Lie will be a game changer for countless innocent lives.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

But the reality is that for whatever reason core values are my-way-or-the-highway, which all parents want for their children. Hardworking people of this state, who are struggling to pay down their home loans and utility bills, are at an inflection point, which poses a great risk of irrevocable harm to the clear and present danger.

It is critically important that the win-win inequality and inequity agenda of Our Democracy is under attack, which is guaranteed by Article VIII of the Constitution. Everything is on the table.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Divisive short-term government overreach is down the rabbit hole on the Internet and is struggling to destroy the country, which is the American Dream of Our Democracy, which is out of control and is a lie that is flat-out.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

My number-one priority will be multiple instructional modalities and the on-boarding and off-boarding of the American Worker contrary to everything this country stands for. The unacceptable common-sense reality check is out of touch with the American experiment

Nothing could be further from the truth.

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Talking-Head Gibber:

Last week’s gob-smacking, bombshell report just before we went on the air tonight shows that the holistic paradigm on systemic racism and vexed nation building has been roiled by political polarization and cancel culture.

According to gut-wrenching, eye-popping, reporting by unelected bureaucrats, unprecedented wealthy donors crossing the Rubicon are a crystal clear bellwether of special interests seeking a fair share.

This is uncharted territory.

The sweet spot between toxic masculinity and aggressive misogyny is under attack, and deeply troubling zombie congressmen are on a collision course with the unprecedented optics of kitchen-table issues. This gives the Democrats a mandate to ramp up the fraught rhetoric of the propaganda ecosystem. Meanwhile Republicans hope to run out the clock in a slow-moving car crash between a racially charged seminal event and a granular sea change criminalizing the tribal environment we’re living in.

This is uncharted territory.

This threatens a perilous synergy between a red tide and a blue wave which is where we are as a country. Many viewers will remember the previous gut-wrenching generational environmental injustice and an existential threat to underrepresented minorities and people of color.

The reality is that LGBTQAnon disrupters are still light years from an unsustainable tipping point to flip the legislature, which would level the playing field on the slippery slope into an unprecedented situation where every vaccine-skeptic is up for grabs.

Islamophobia and White supremacy have to thread the needle between heated and fraught culture wars and systemic racism, which would be toxic.

This is uncharted territory.

This puts at risk the constitutional crisis at home and the humanitarian crises around the world and provides mandates for an apocalyptic Big Lie, which is a red line in the sand and a crime against humanity.

This is uncharted territory.



(Source: The basic text of this page was originally derived from unthinking catch phrases in countless soundbites by various politicians from the 1990s onward, who were probably convinced —perhaps correctly— that most of their listeners wanted to vote for really stupid people. It has been revised occasionally as new unthinking catch phrases have gained currency —people have stopped talking about the bridge to the new millennium or the imminent risk of Iraq invading Iowa, and even “herd immunity” sounds so last month— but the politicians’ underlying conviction that voters prefer sanctimonious stupidity hasn’t changed much. Neither has the frenetic copying of words and ideas from one passionate but vacuous commentator to another.)

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