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Text first created: 970510
File last modified: 170320

Stercus bubulus omnia vincit
—My Daddy

Jargon & Gibberish:
Politpiddle: The Language of Public Posturing

Candidate Batty: Mere rhetoric is the only way to keep Our Nation safe. Abusive pension practices going forward keep in perspective every dollar in shared pain and other options, which are on the table for the hearts and minds of the middle class, and which in this economic climate must throw my opponent under the bus because there are no good options with red tape. It is imperative that we mishandle the headwinds, which are simply unacceptable, which is where the buck stops.

Let there be no mistake about it: I know the only way to create jobs.

Candidate Booby: Do-nothing politicians just don't get it and must make a full-court press on a case-by-case basis to prolong the recession with hard-earned taxpayer-dollars. The Wall-Street lobbyists will fight tooth and nail to have an adult discussion about the game plan that is broken. With all due respect, those are the failed policies of the real world where people are hurting.

I am the only candidate who knows how to create jobs.

Candidate Batty: There are many studies that show that since 1948 the rollback in difficult choices in wartime is simply unacceptable. So is the status quo because real reform is a watershed moment in reducing dependence on foreign oil, which is a failed policy that must be on the table with the elephant in the room on a level playing field at the tipping point on the wrong track.

Let there be no mistake about it: I know the only way to create jobs.

Candidate Booby: That impacts the only way for job-creators to keep Our Nation safe, which would be class warfare for the middle class, who want to pay their fair share, which is broken on the other side of the aisle. With all due respect, at the end of the day, the American People have a right to demand nothing short of this insult to every working man, woman, and child because there is no free lunch in Medicare as we know it.

I am the only candidate who knows how to create jobs.

Candidate Batty: Let me be clear. This manufactured crisis is a make-or-break moment to leverage tone-deaf blowback as we move forward in terms of tax-and-spend nation-building and public-employee pensions. That is a paradigm shift because it is the Right Thing To Do. Such a proposal is a real disconnect while we are at war with hard choices about our children's future, which is simply unacceptable.

Let there be no mistake about it: I know the only way to create jobs.

Candidate Booby: Such out-of-control spending will grow the economy through job-destroying increases in energy production as job-creators move forward in terms of tax-and-spend because it is the Right Thing To Do. With all due respect, our goal is to step up to the plate and put America back to work, which is categorically rejected by job-killing policies and special interests at slave-labor wages in China. That is the first priority for this country and will shake things up while we send a message of my-way-or-the-highway.

I am the only candidate who knows how to create jobs.

Candidate Batty: This is a make-or-break moment for do-nothing politicians because real reform is a defining moment in reducing dependence on foreign oil, which is a failed policy and a watershed moment. The American People have a right to demand nothing short of this insult to every working man, woman, and child with hard-earned taxpayer-dollars. At the end of the day, rebuilding this country means holding them responsible and pursuing the very policies that got us into this mess.

Let there be no mistake about it: I know the only way to create jobs.

Candidate Booby: Rebuilding this country in the defining moment is the defining issue on a case-by-case basis, so we must hold accountable the hardworking fat-cats in a bipartisan fashion to play kick-the-can with the silver bullet. And that is critical for the future of health care in America.

I am the only candidate who knows how to create jobs.

Candidate Batty: To preserve jobs for hardworking Americans instead of devastating effects is not acceptable to our nation's brave men and women in uniform risking their lives in harm's way. We must have disciplined tough love right here in America to preserve wasteful government spending for the job creators in the face of skyrocketing special interests in these tough economic times.

Let there be no mistake about it: I know the only way to create jobs.

Candidate Booby: This narrative shift is not acceptable to our nation's brave men and women in uniform, whose devastating effects on legacy costs are a real breakthrough in desired outcomes and impacts. With all due respect, we must have disciplined tough love right here in America to preserve wasteful government spending for the job creators in the face of skyrocketing special interests in these tough economic times. To preserve jobs for working people who get the message and are out of touch, and any similar non-starter is simply unacceptable.

I am the only candidate who knows how to create jobs.

Candidate Batty: Our goal is to step up to the plate and bring back job-creating smoke and mirrors, because that would be class warfare and means testing, which are categorically rejected by job-killing policies and special interests working at slave-labor wages in China, which is the first priority for this country and will shake things up.

Let there be no mistake about it: I know the only way to create jobs.

Candidate Booby: My Opponent just doesn't get it. With all due respect, I am the only candidate who knows how to create jobs.

Candidate Batty: My Opponent just doesn't get it. I know the only way to create jobs.

For talking-head commentary on this important debate, click here.

(Source: The basic text of this page was originally derived from unthinking catch phrases in countless soundbites by various politicians from the 1990s onward, who were probably convinced —perhaps correctly— that most of their listeners wanted to vote for really stupid people. It has been revised occasionally as new unthinking catch phrases have gained currency —people have stopped talking about the bridge to the new millennium or the imminent risk of Iraq invading Iowa— but the politicians' underlying conviction that voters prefer sanctimonious stupidity hasn't changed much.)/p>

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