| What they say | What they mean |
| "It has long been known..." | I didn't look up the original reference. |
| "A definite trend is evident..." | These data are practically meaningless. |
| "Of great theoretical and practical importance." | Interesting to me. |
| "While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to these questions." | This was an unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published. |
| "Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study." | The others made no sense. |
| "Typical results are shown." | The best results are shown. |
| "The most reliable results are those obtained by Jones." | He was my grad assistant. |
| "It is believed that..." | I think. |
| "It is generally believed that..." | A couple of other guys think so too. |
| "It is clear that such additional work will be required before a complete understanding of the phenomenon is possible." | I don't understand it. |
| "Correct within an order of magnitude." | Wrong. |
| "It is hoped that this study will stimulate more work in this field." | This is a lousy paper but so are the others in this crummy field. |
| "Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experimental work and George Frink for valuable discussions." | Blotz did the work, and Frink explained to me what it meant. |
| "A careful analysis of obtainable data..." | Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer. |
| "A statistically oriented projection of the findings." | Wild guess. |