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Linda and Gretchen were Resident Assistants in Eureka Hall, a well-worn building constructed many years ago, when budgets were tight, as always, and the naming committee even less imaginative than usual. The place tended to have odd smells and leaky faucets, and fuses seemed to blow a lot. Still, the rooms in Eureka were bigger than in other campus dorms, giving the building a well-earned reputation for better-than-average parties.
One afternoon Linda dropped in on Gretchen to find out whether anybody had come to try to deal with the leak outside Suite 204. Nobody had, so far as Gretchen knew, but Gretchen hadn’t been up to check for a while. She had been running late all day because she had overslept after breaking up a late-night party the previous evening.
“Look at this,” she said. Going to the refrigerator, she pulled out a bottle of Benedictine.
“What is it?” asked Linda.
“It’s Benedictine,” said Gretchen. “I think it’s a kind of whiskey or gin or something like that. I’ve never tasted it, but I know it’s really, really expensive. My father loves it. He says it is what they drink in heaven.”
“That’s a pretty strong recommendation,” Linda said, sniffing it. It smelled slightly spicy, like some kind of expensive barbecue sauce, maybe laced with paint thinner. “What are you going to do with it?”
Gretchen looked uncertain. “I don’t know,” she said. “The rules say we are supposed to dump it out, and I guess I should, but I know my dad pays, like, beaucoup bucks a bottle for this stuff, and the people I took the bottle from last night were really unhappy about losing it. One said it was like Liquid Gold. It all makes me kind of curious about it.”
They passed the bottle back and forth, sniffing it. It still smelled like expensive barbecue sauce. Or maybe paint thinner.
“Now you’re making me curious too,” said Linda at length. I think you’d better pour it out, but I would really like to taste some first.”
“Yeah, me too,” said Gretchen. “Just in the interest of knowing, you know, what it’s like and all. Oh hell, let’s just try a mouthful before we throw it away. Then we’ll know.” She got out two glasses and poured a small amount in each glass, and they sat down. Each woman sipped tentatively. It was very strong and slightly oily, with a complicated mix of odd, spicy flavors.
“I see why they call it Liquid Gold,” said Linda, thinking of the furniture polish of that name.
“It’s pretty strong, all right,” said Gretchen. “I wonder what my dad sees in it.”
At that moment Gretchen’s roommate Melissa came in.
“Hi! Do you know whether anybody came about the leak in 204?” She paused. “What are you drinking? Oh my God! Don’t you know you’re RAs?! You can’t drink that stuff. That’s alcohol. I have to turn you in or we’ll all be in trouble!”
Melissa did in fact turn them in. Drinking was prohibited in the housing unit, and was specifically prohibited by the contract the two RAs had signed when they took the job. The case came up before the Res Dean, who not only wrote them up for an alcohol violation, but also fired them.
“There is really nothing I can do about this,” said the Res Dean. You have been wonderful RAs up to now, but to overlook your actions would undercut the whole idea of the RA enforcing rules and being a role model for other students. I just can’t do that.” You both knew the rules, and you violated them. This just can’t be overlooked.
There was a waiting list for housing, and Gretchen and Linda had been allowed to live in Eureka Hall only because they were working as RAs. Therefore their firing also resulted in their eviction. “There really is nothing I can do about that, either,” said the Res Dean.
When Gretchen and Linda’s RA jobs were advertised, several students applied for them, including Melissa. In her interview, Melissa explained that she had been Gretchen’s suite mate, so she already knew a lot about the job. She also pointed out that she had been the person who originally reported the case of alcohol abuse, and could therefore be depended upon to enforce the Res Life rules. She was hired.