(1) everything is named Zorch
and (2) the game is played in the dead of night.
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In the glorious game of Zorch:
(1) everything is named Zorch and
(2) the game is played in the dead of night.
To play, you need:
(The darkest nights have good cloud cover or a new moon or both. Accordingly those days and a few to either side of them are exceptionally fine Zorching time. Obviously fog also helps. An old saying holds that to the true drunk there is no such thing as bad whiskey. Similarly, to the true Zorcher, no night is a bad night for Zorch.)
, with shrubs and bushes. (An Egyptian date oasis is good, but a California eucalyptus grove like the one behind RIMAC has been known to work well. Almost too well.)
, which is placed somewhere in the Zorch forest. (The Zorch is always placed in an area with a balance of ease of defense and ease of attack.) 
, who guards the Zorch in the middle of a dark forest. The best spots have lots of ground cover to veil the Zorcher’s vision and mask the approach of the nameless hordes of grasping Zorch-seekers 
who are fueled by a mad desire for the Zorch (technically called “Zorch lust”).Rules of Play:
The Zorcher searches the dark forest with his Zorchlight for those who would steal his Zorch. The others all sneak around the Zorcher in the dark and try to grab the Zorch.
When the Zorcher encounters a lurking attacker, one who would steal his precious Zorch, he must shine his Zorchlight on the intruder and shout, “Zorch!”
The potential Zorch thief has now been Zorched 
. If Zorched, the attacker must slink sullenly back into the shrouding darkness, to pause and consider another path to find and acquire the desired Zorch.
In general, nobody says anything except “Zorch!” However, in the rare case that the attacker doesn’t realize that it was s/he who was zorched, the Zorcher may continue training his flashlight on the offender, while specifying the name or clothing of the detected intruder.
Of course, this is a losing game for the Zorcher. His enemies are numberless, and those who are successfully detected and driven away simply return later.
When one of these shadow creatures eventually finds the Zorch, and can grab it before being caught, the successful thief must shout, “ZORCH!” as loud as possible as though to wake the neighbors or perhaps even the dead.
When the hordes hear that one of their own has gotten the Zorch, they all shout, “Zorch!” 
The forest echoes with the yelps and cries and wails of “Zorch,” and all players return to the site of the Zorch, where everyone may view the thief, who has now become the new Zorcher, proudly holding the glorious Zorch, as the formerly haughty but now humbled erstwhile Zorcher, surrendering the Zorchlight, slinks back into the multitude, grumbling “Zorch!”
Rumor has it that sometimes ad-hoc changes are made in the rules to make things yet more exciting, but the game is already exciting, and besides, that is only a rumor.
*-This game was played by ERCkies in the remote past, when it was found to be a frivolous romp. It is presented here purely for antiquarian interest. Like all other UCSD students, ERC students today do not romp. They only study. No frivolity. Nothing but sober study and un-frivolity. No romps. Study. Un-frivolity. Nerdery.
AND FURTHERMORE, Jordan is not responsible for this game. Jordan never heard of this game. Jordan knows nothing about this game. (He also never heard of the ERC/TMC “Jello Wars” of the same period.) Therefore you didn't hear about this game from Jordan. This is an underground game the transmission of which is due entirely to mischievous jinns, rougish sprites, or possibly Russian hackers. It has nothing whatever to do with Jordan, who, as noted, is unaware of any of this.
AND IN ADDITION, since Dana McDaniel already graduated, the statute of limitations has run out for any action that could be taken against him. There is also the possibility that he never heard of the game either, depending on whom you ask. Or maybe he doesn't exist and never did, in spite of having received a diploma. The game is probably Egyptian and very ancient and the statute of limitations has run out on that too.
Did I mention that Jordan is unaware of all this?
Background Design: Egyptian Hieroglyphic Inscription Describing Zorch
Picture of Bes Blessing a Zorch: Musée du Louvre