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Stercus bubulus omnia vincit
—My Daddy

Jargon & Gibberish:
College Donordrivel


Dear Friends and Alumni,

I cannot tell you how pleased I am to bring you fresh news about Bigwallet College and its acclaimed programs and to provide an update on the newly launched "Bigwallet Initiative" in support of the Blue-Print for Continuing Greatness, which will build a foundation of resources and increase our amplitude as we go forward into the future.

With a permanent faculty of world-class scholars engaged in research, Bigwallet College supports a renowned system of visiting teachers in their quest to inspire a life-long love of learning in undergraduates. The College's commitment to teaching small undergraduate classes within the context of a rigorous research institution is the crucial link shaping the unique intellectual culture of Bigwallet College, where obvious excellence in teaching by temporary visitors remains at the very core and center and heart of the educational adventure, using cyberspace portals to the world.

Many a recent Bigwallet graduate tells me, "Bigwallet has taught me how to think and has engendered a life-long love of learning to which I will some day attribute my success in later life."

Sometimes people will ask me, "Why is Bigwallet College such a cutting-edge leader in higher education?"

The answer is that the unique excellence of Bigwallet's undergraduate teaching begins with the wonderful interdisciplinary tradition, facilitating an unrivaled spectrum of learning opportunities from the moment undergraduates arrive and encounter innovative programs designed to provide a broad, general education not beholden to any one department or discipline. This is a first step to removing specific barriers to major articulation and transfer through the use of our unique intersegmental and interdisciplinary faculty dialog process.

"But how can this be achieved when Bigwallet College is also the institution that the world looks to for leadership in ground-breaking, state-of-the-art research in all fields?"

At the end of the day, the basic interdisciplinary identity of a Bigwallet College education is sustained by a continuing stream of vigorous young visiting instructors who find Bigwallet fulfilling because they like the intellectual challenge of teaching "beyond the boundaries" of traditional disciplines. In fact, many of them teach at several universities simultaneously in order to help bring the "Bigwallet Way" to sister institutions around the city. The material poverty of Bigwallet's general-education instructors makes them eye-opening, real-world role-models for Bigwallet's students, who exhibit unique intellectual curiosity, brilliance, dedication, enthusiasm, and intelligence. All of this makes for a great classroom experience. And it enhances student life on campus by leaving permanent faculty free to pursue world-class cutting edges with depth and diversity outside the box.

Alumni and friends have the exciting opportunity to get involved and participate in the great tradition of learning by partnering with the Bigwallet Blue-Print for Continuing Greatness gifts program that supports this superb College. You can cultivate a life-long relationship through the methodology of the Wealth Management and Wealth Maximization programs of the Bigwallet College Advancement Office to help create a legacy of support for our leading-edge faculty and the world-class administrators who lead them.

I cannot overstress the philosophical importance of unrestricted gifts, which can be put to full-fledged use where they are most needed, such as helping to meet the momentous goal of recognizing the unfailing dedication and demonstrated excellence of our administrators through enhancing their remunerative experience.

Remember that your gift is the first step in developing a life-long connection between being a friend or alumnus and supporting Bigwallet College with its exciting new initiatives in educational advancement.

D.K. Moneyperson
Bigwallet College Advancement Office
(Formerly Bigwallet College Development Office)
(Formerly Bigwallet College Fund Raising Office)
(Formerly Bigwallet College President's Office)

(Source: The basic text of this page was originally derived from a fund-raising brochure sent out by a major university, which ought to be ashamed of itself. I am happy to say that only one particularly stupid phrase came from UCSD.)

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